1000 Places to See before you Die.... and a New Year Blessing!

I'm getting it. A book of places to go and things to see. I'm going to do it - with milestones along the way. I'm thinking I can get through at least 100 of them by the time I turn 30 (or 35). I have yet to see the list, but I'm sure it will be amazing! Now, I realize that I may not get to the ultimate goal of seeing all 1000... but that's the challenge. So if you ever need a travel buddy, let me know!

My ultimate destination... The Dome of the Rock.  In Israel.

The time has come for New Years resolutions. New Years is my favorite holiday!! Last year I had three resolutions, two of which I accomplished, one of which is still "in process". This year, I have no idea. I have things that I'd like to do, but I'm unsure if I would have time to actually do them. I would love to get back in touch with playing the piano again. I'd like to read the entire Bible at least once, maybe even memorize an entire book or two this year. I'd like to train to run a 5K. I'd like to write a song. Become a mentor. Who knows what will happen this year. I'm literally going to take it as the day comes. 

      A lot is going to happen this year - a lot of changes. Whatever that means for you, I pray that above all you feel the peace and direction of God through all of your decisions. That you feel the comfort and courage through all of your travels, and that you are overwhelmed by the Love that He offers daily. 

Priorities

Today was a rough day. I'm restless. It's a hard day to sit and be still. We all have one more day left in 2012. Then the new year will come, along with all of it's uncertainties and blessings. But I can't help but wonder... what are your priorities? Is it family, friends? Is it your job or the pursuit of the "perfect" career? Is it yourself? Is God somewhere in there?
     I find it hard to pinpoint just one area. Reflecting, I can see periods of my life where certain things/people took precedence. Back when school was a priority, or a boyfriend, or even myself. That's not so much the case now, but there has to be something that takes place over everything else. One really valuable lesson that I've learned over the past few years has been to not stress over the little things. I've learned to keep work at work, and not take work home (unless there's a stack of projects and progress reports are due). I've desired to learn more about my creator and the Bible, and that has definitely been a larger priority for me this year. But, what is yours? Where does your heart belong? Or, where is it kept?
     I've lived out of the house for a while now, going on almost 7 years, and I've really "grown-up". I'm not the same me from when I left - that's for sure. So it's difficult to return home. It's hard to see that my priorities are nowhere near the same as this place that I come and go from. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, but priorities do kinda mold who you are and how you act. I know that we're called to spread the Gospel. But how do I do that? What does that look like? It's a struggle, and it's made me restless. I want to, and I have a desire to, but I'm stuck. Priorities.
     This coming year I hope to get all of that straightened out. I hope to find the answers to the "how do I" questions. I hope to be more productive in my walk with God and in increasing His kingdom. Today we lost a very influential woman, the pastor's wife, Rochelle Nieman,  of Abundant living Faith Center - the church who first took me under their wings. She was the best example of what it looked like to be a true woman of God. And although I didn't know her as personally as others did, she radiated from a distance. I hope to get my priorities in line. Her's clearly were, and it showed.

In Loving memory.

Letter of Intent

As a student I could never focus at home. I always needed to be surrounded in a room (preferably coffee house) full of people being productive. Now by productive, that can mean a wide range of things, but that's besides the point. So I left the house today and found myself sitting at Barnes and Noble with a freshly blended Starbucks Frapp on my side and laptop open ready to get dirty. I thought about my career. That was my focus. Why am I an art teacher? Why did I decide to take this path in life? And, what am I going to do next? So I began writing a letter of intent, and it was very insightful.
I'm getting use to writing these days, it's almost becoming a hobby of sorts. So my focus for the following couple of hours was art education.
     I wrote about my education history, my teaching experience, what it was like being a first year teacher and a teacher in another country for that matter. I included information about my travels, employment, what I foresee happening in the future, all of that good stuff. And by the end I was very proud of myself. I've come a long way. Almost two years into teaching (a career that I had not originally planned or imagined I would enter) and I'm a survivor! I love working with kids. I love seeing their artwork reveal itself from a blank canvas to something amazing. I love the organization aspect that is required for my job. I have amazing co-workers and feel supported in what I do. I love the freedom to be creative and the trial and error that comes along. It's all very exciting to me.
     So I add it to the list of things that I am thankful for. Gratitude. This school year's theme. And I am so grateful for where God has brought me. I'm thankful in advance for where He is taking me, and I'm excited for the road ahead.

7th grade students drawing each other using the gesture drawing technique.
Love their enthusiasm! 

Blank Canvas

I bought a yard of canvas today. What can I say, I felt inspired. I was actually out on the hunt for a cute white apron to take back with me to Honduras, but ended up with a yard of canvas and a fabric marker.  What will I do with this fabulous yard of fabric you ask? Well, my plan is to have each of my current students add a character/cartoon animal to the canvas and just wait and see what happens. Kinda like a huge keepsake that I can frame later. They have the coolest little sketches. You know, the ones that kids doodle when they don't want to pay attention during their normal core-classes. I'm excited about it. There are so ways that this canvas can be transformed.
     I held onto the canvas while standing in the check out line and made a life connection. Some would say that I am an artist. (I wold say that I just really have a passion for creativity.) I tend to see things for the beauty that they could be rather than what it is. I see the potential. And when dealing with a blank slate, oh my, sometimes it can be overwhelming. Pre-college graduation I was a HUGE life planner. I liked knowing what was going to happen, when it would happen, times, who would be there, what to wear, etc. I was very detailed oriented about every event that was planned. And when there were no plans, whew... watch out world! I would stress myself out so much - it was exhausting. At that time, in my head, the plan was to graduate, get married, move, start teaching and begin the next chapter of life. Then my life hit the washing machine.
     Pre-college graduating I was wiped clean. My canvas, or actually more like a roadmap, was put in the washer. All of the details, trails, markings, doodles, stickers, etc were washed away and until the canvas dried was I able to breath again and begin a second chance at creating a masterpiece.
     My second chance was a struggle. I wanted it to be the same as the art that I had previously created. There's no such thing. I had to start over and this time MY planning was going to take me nowhere. So I held onto the brush and waited. (I did a lot of waiting.) Before I knew it, the blueprint was being constructed.
     There I was, holding onto a blank canvas and waiting with anticipation to see what would come of the artwork. As I waited, He delivered. My Creator created. And I feel more than blessed to have been on this artistic journey, recreating a masterpiece out of a washed canvas. Now, don't get me wrong, it's no fun starting from scratch. But it's the process that makes the end result so enjoyable. It's all about the events that occur in the in-betweens that bring it all together. (I hope that made some sense.) It's really exciting.
     And I'm excited. While all of that was just a metaphor, my students now have the opportunity to create a masterpiece out of a blank canvas. Who knows what this will look like three months from now, but I am expecting great things from them. In a way this is my life. A continuous drawing on a blank canvas.

Decision Season

Here's some good advice I read today.

          In times of uncertainty, wait. Always, if you have any doubt, wait. Do not force yourself to any action. If     

          you have a restraint in your spirit, wait until all is clear, and do not go against it.

It came at a perfect timing. Actually, now that I think about it, I feel like this is the second time I've heard this in two weeks. Right now many of us are making decisions that could drastically affect the course of our lives this coming year. Some of us might be weighing out the options - making several pros and cons lists. For me, one promise that I continue to hold onto is Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

I know there are options. Some have kinda slapped me in the face. I know there is a comfort zone in which I shouldn't retreat to, but press forward in. I am aware of some of the struggles that are ahead of me, but I know that I won't be going through them alone. So for now, in the middle of the decision season I will wait for clarity. 

It's not a comfortable place to be in (being an ex-life planner and all), but it's a place where I can be reassured that whatever the outcome, something good will be brought forth. There are lessons that need the be learned.

I'm thankful for this reminder. 

My nephew chillin' in his bouncer. Talking up a storm.

Not a big deal.... or maybe

So there's less than a one week countdown and I am inching towards getting 5000 views!!! I feel like a celebrity! (No I don't, yes I do, no.... I don't. Okay, so only kind-of like a celebrity.) Whoop, whoop! Not to jump ahead of myself and say that it will of course happen, that my 4 moves up to a 5, but it would be pretty cool. So here's my challenge to myself. I'm going to post something every day from now until New Years eve in hopes of making that number change. (Just to add a little bit of holiday cheer to my life). 

     Hope you enjoy what may come out over the next 6 days and that God may use this time to speak a little into your hearts and reveal some things about mine. ;)

Merry CHRISTmas

As I get older and find myself huddled over a pile of gifts, I also find myself feeling overwhelmed with thanksgiving. God has provided my family with so much - more than we may even realize. And the crazy thing is that it has become our "normal", another routine to our annual festivities. I am thankful and excited about the gifts that I received this year, but it goes beyond the gift wrapping and thoughtful present picking. I am thankful that we were able to get together for one night, play games, eat, talk about life and what the new year will hold, and then pray. We prayed together. We even sang happy birthday to Jesus. What a blessing it was to be in a room filled with relatives who wanted to pray together - even if for one night. I'm thankful for that five minutes where we could forget about all of the chaos going on around us and just offer thanksgiving up to our creator.

I can't help but be EXCITED!!!

Things may not be the same as two Christmases ago, but this year my heart is filled. I came across this random song by a random artist on Noisetrade with lyrics that speak straight to my single 25-year old self. So many friends are now entering the stage that I once held onto and I can't help but be so excited for them. They are all relationships that you can see God moving in, and that's what's so amazing. How awesome is that! I pray that God will be able to use them together to minister to others in a deep way. Although my own feelings about the subject have wavered here and there, I am reassured that God knows my desires. He wouldn't give them to me if he didn't want them for me. Right? So trust I will. And wait (the hard part). But today, when many are snuggled up close and find themselves wandering under a mistletoe, I will rejoice for them, thank God for planning out my future and pray for that person that God has yet to reveal.
     Any-who, this song... although it can sound kinda girly, the lyrics are words that I can only hope are true to the relationship that God will bring. Here are the lyrics that I can't help but get excited about this Christmas.

Sweet dreams and lullabies, 

staring up at the summer skies. 

Trusting in the mighty king above,

in bringing me the one that I'm supposed to love.

I pray about you every night and day.

I can't wait to finally hear you say

I'll be with you until the very end

because I love you.

I'm waiting patiently cuz I know it's not a race, 

but I'll keep on running until I see your pretty face.

I've been saving my heart for you. 

I want a love that lasts and always stays true.

Your prince is here to come and sweep you off your feet, 

I'll keep on fighting until that day we finally meet.

I'll be by your side until the very end because

I love you.

God I trust you with my life

You know my desires, 

my future wife

and I'm so glad 

with you there is no fait 

now all I have to do is trust and wait.

Girl, dont you know

that even though I'm not there to be yours right now

My God has it all in his hands.

Even when times get tough

I will turn and trust in his promises

His love will be the core of who we are.

So with all of that said, it's exciting!! I'm praying. Not that it will come soon (although I wouldn't mind that), but for a solid foundation. The last stanza is the most important... His love will be the core of who we are. That right there just makes my heart skip a beat! I can't help but be excited!!
     For all of you who are in that stage that I only hope to be in someday, congratulations! I'm excited for you too! May God truly be the center of your relationship. And may he continuously bless you this Christmas and coming new year.

Reconnect with the Now

I read a woman's blog today while standing in a ridiculously long line at a clothing store titled When Your Soul Needs To Feel It's Worth and it was worth the read. She writes about the importance in taking time daily to acknowledge where you are right now, to take in those deep breaths and reconnect with the now.
     I find myself thinking about the future way too often these days. Those thoughts of where I will be or what I will be doing (even in three months) consume some of my days and that's not right. How can someone fully experience the now when the mind is focused on the future? I'm reminded by todays blog to take that time to breathe deeply, reconnect with who I am - with who God has made me to be, and to thank God for the day ahead and ask for opportunities to bless. You could also say, to take the time to bring yourself back to reality.
     The world was supposed to end today (according to the Mayan calendar), and here I am sitting on a tiny couch, drinking a hot cup of mint tea with my dog at my feet typing and thanking God for another day. Now that I think about it, all my previous focus about the future wouldn't have mattered anyways if today was really the end of the world. So I type anyways and I take deep breaths. And I focus on today.
     It's good for me to evaluate where I am: spiritually, physically, mentally. It helps me to stay sane. I was really sick last week. I couldn't eat anything without feeling like it would soon resurface (not the point of this blog, but just an F.Y.I.). On top of that I was feeling anxious about the travel and what changes that would bring to my daily routine. I was nervous and unsettled. And now, I am here. I'm home, reconnecting with my roots, reevaluating life, and rediscovering my purpose. It's a challenging place to be in, but one in which I know I will grow - mostly because I know who stands besides me.

"Do you remember where you stand and who stands besides you?"

Thankful for the Thorns

In a place of hurting, mourning over the loss of innocent lives, where do we turn? Where do we find our answers? Where do we seek our comfort? The mindset is so radical, so "out of the ordinary"... to be thankful for the moments of difficulty (the "thorns" that lead up to the rosebud). I find myself asking God about the outcome of things. Wanting answers way before their timing. I ask questions like, "What will life be like after this situation passes?" or "What good is this doing for me to have to go through this now? Why now?" Some of those questions never really get answered, but the lessons are still learned. The thorns allow me to learn. These moments that bring tears to my eyes allow me the opportunity to thank God. As I type this, my heart aches. For all of those who are hurting and whose hearts feel no beat. I ache as I sit here and remind myself that now is the time to be thankful. Now is the time to truly glorify God for who He is. In the midst of the pain and suffering. Now is not the time to ask all the questions that may never get answered, now is the time to reflect of God's goodness and offer Him our praise. It's a difficult task. But one that we must try to carry on.

I have been so blessed by our school's theme for the year: Gratitude. For in everything we are to be thankful, not only in the good, but in the struggles as well. This is one of them. A struggle to look at the positive when everything seems to be in the negative. The act of being thankful for the thorns. It's a change of heart for sure. A conscious decision to shift focus. Away from self and towards our Creator. How radical is that. I just hope that if trauma ever hits me closer to home than I'd ever want, that I would be prepared to offer thanksgiving to God and not condemn Him. Now is the time. In everything, offer thanksgiving.

Thankful for the Thorns

 

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Cor. 12:10).

 

The literal translation of this verse gives a startling emphasis to it, and makes it speak for itself with a force that we have probably never realized. Here It is: "Therefore I take pleasure in being without strength, in insults, in being pinched, in being chased about, in being cooped up in a corner for Christ's sake; for when I am without strength, then am I dynamite."

 

Here is the secret of Divine all-sufficiency, to come to the end of everything in ourselves and in our circumstances. When we reach this place, we will stop asking for sympathy because of our hard situation or bad treatment, for we will recognize these things as the very conditions of our blessing, and we will turn from them to God and find in them a claim upon Him. --A. B. Simpson

 

***

 

George Matheson, the well-known blind preacher of Scotland, who recently went to be with the Lord, said: "My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn. I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross; but I have never thought of my cross as itself a present glory.

 

"Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows."

 

"Alas for him who never sees The stars shine through the cypress trees."

FROM: http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/  Day: 15DEC2012

Sit still

It is so true. God is able to best use us when we are willing to sit and listen. To sit still and wait.... wait on Him. We all think we're adults (or adults in training), but really we are all children. We have tendencies to become anxious about tomorrow, unable to sit still, have shortness in patience and are unwilling to cooperate sometimes. We have minds of our own and don't always make the best decisions. So when told to sit still, I don't know about you, but I just want to get up and run! But it is true. That moment that you find yourself helpless and tired of trying, that moment when you allow yourself to sit still and look up towards your Fatner in heaven... He will deliver. He will rescue your heart. 

I'm thankful to have learned even the tiniest meaning behind sitting still. And listening, oh boy, that's a whole other lesson to be learned. But I'm slowly getting there. And it's a whole other world. 

Inward Stillness

"Their strength is to sit still." (Isa. 30:7).

In order really to know God, inward stillness is absolutely necessary. I remember when I first learned this. A time of great emergency had risen in my life, when every part of my being seemed to throb with anxiety, and when the necessity for immediate and vigorous action seemed overpowering; and yet circumstances were such that I could do nothing, and the person who could, would not stir.

For a little while it seemed as if I must fly to pieces with the inward turmoil, when suddenly the still small voice whispered in the depths of my soul, "Be still, and know that I am God." The word was with power, and I hearkened. I composed my body to perfect stillness, and I constrained my troubled spirit into quietness, and looked up and waited; and then I did "know" that it was God, God even in the very emergency and in my helplessness to meet it; and I rested in Him. It was an experience that I would not have missed for worlds; and I may add also, that out of this stillness seemed to arise a power to deal with the emergency, that very soon brought it to a successful issue. I learned then effectually that my "strength was to sit still."  --Hannah Whitall Smith

from: http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

Mysterious Wall

So true.

A piece from today's devotional.

There are times and places where God will form a mysterious wall around us, and cut away all props, and all the ordinary ways of doing things, and shut us up to something Divine, which is utterly new and unexpected, something that old circumstances do not fit into, where we do not know just what will happen, where God is cutting the cloth of our lives on a new pattern, where He makes us look to Himself.

 

Most religious people live in a sort of treadmill life, where they can calculate almost everything that will happen, but the souls that God leads out into immediate and special dealings, He shuts in where all they know is that God has hold of them, and is dealing with them, and their expectation is from Him alone.

God has a hold of them, and is dealing with them.

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

Tired Legs.

I can't even begin to describe what Day 4's are like. They are long, sometimes miserable, exhausting, my voice hurts, my legs feel like they could break off at any given time and I want to be anything but a teacher on Day 4's. To look on the bright side, Day 4's only come once a week. Thank you God for that. Once a week I have to really suck it up and pray that God be my strength for the day, because I know that I could lose it by the time 5th period comes around (and that's before lunch!). These days are hard and long, sometimes I run on auto pilot, but lately I've been finding myself looking for things to be thankful for. Making the act of being thankful a part of my job. At times I feel the peace and reassurance of God being on my side, but sometimes it truly is a struggle.

I know I still have a lot to learn. I always will. That doesn't bother me. But, I'm excited to see and feel a difference in the areas where I am learning and growing (and to be able to see God moving there as well).

It's still the end of Day 4 for this week, and only one more Day 4 to go before I head back to Texas for Christmas break, I'm exhausted. Exhausted, but still very thankful that God brought me through today and has given me the ability to teach and still be somewhat sane.

5 days of Fasting

It's true what they say. When you decide to follow Christ, life does not become easier. Instead, life has many more obstacles. It's like I have been off-roading in a dessert full of sand dunes lately. No joke. But what amazes me is that somehow God allows me to still feel peace. I told Julie (my roommate) once that it hurt to smile. And it did back then. But now, even with some of the same struggles, if not very similar struggles, I can smile without the hurt. My heart can still feel all warm and fuzzy even through the chaos. So back to last week. As soon as I returned from a getaway to an island (for reals! crazy, I know) I had to do something to challenge my spirit. So I fasted. For 5 days. Ok, so that just made me sound really heroic, but it's nothing like that. I fasted every day, but allowed myself to eat dinner. I am a breakfast girl. I mean full on ham and eggs, apple juice, toast or french toast (on a really good day) kinda girl. So fasting breakfast was the biggest challenge of all. Not to mention, I am a teacher to 10 different classes... 210 students! So yes, my stomach was trippin'. But I made it. And God showed up. But so did temptation. And the fight was daily.
     I dedicated each day to a different aspect of my life. Day 1: Family. Day 2: Students/my ministry here with them. Day 3: Friends and community. Day 4: My desires, and desires in general. Day 5: My future - decisions, open doors, opportunity.

     It's good to get back in line with God. And to really just come bare foot and kneeling before Him. I know that He heard all that I had to say and even those words that didn't make it out. He knows and I can rest assured that He will take care of it all. And through that week long challenge I held onto the promise in 1 Peter 5:10

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all Grace, 

who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, 

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

A beautiful sunset right outside my front door.

A Roatan Thanksgiving!

This year for Thanksgiving, I decided to get outta' town and head over to the beach. Destination: Roatan, Honduras (apparently world-renoun for their scuba diving). I ended up going with three other lovely Pinares teachers, Brittany, Leslie and Melynda. We spent a total of 3.something days and 3 nights in a pretty sweet hotel... and of course had a blast. Other than the lazy mornings/afternoons on the pier/beach, our trip included parasailing and snorkeling! Two things that I had never done before!! Both were awesome, but snorkeling there was mind-blowing! I felt like I was in a real-life version of Finding Nemo. Next time I visit, I will be sure to go scuba diving. The food there was very tasty and I was even surprised with a little bit of home for our Thanksgiving dinner. We ended up at a Texas themed beach-side restaurant with authentic Texas food!! That night, my heart melted with joy (no joke). Anyways, here are a few pictures of the events that happened that fine weekend away from Tegus.