Etch-A-Sketch Please

It's funny how some things are allowed to be engraved into your mind. Life's not an etch-a-sketch. You can't make a pretty picture and then shake it off, although sometimes I wish you could do that, it's almost impossible. There are some things that stick. Somethings that never are erased from your memory. Like a really bad sticker that's been on the surface for years and you all of a sudden want to replace it. Impossible. If anything, it will leave an imprint of where it use to be. This makes me think about the types of things that I surround my life with (or surrounded my life with). Are they meaningful? Will those things enrich my life? Or are is it all trash and a waste of time?

I'm thinking back on some of the decisions that I made in my life and I'm wondering what life would look like if I had decided something else. I know, sketchy territory (no pun intended). But wow. Everything happened the way that it was intended to happen. No doubt that I wouldn't be experiencing the things that I have in front of me if there was any change in the sequence of events that led up to the now.

Life really is like the butterfly effect. One little change and the future can be completely different. But what's crazy is that we have no idea what tomorrow holds. No idea. We know that we're not even promised a tomorrow and yet we fall asleep almost expecting to wake up when the sun's out again. Maybe I'm thinking way too much into this, but due to recent happenings in my life I'm way more aware of the decision making process. Day to day living. What will leave a mark on my life, what won't. It's not easy for me right now. There are definitely things that I am having to let go, remember the etch-a-sketch reference? But again, I am thankful for the One who has held my hand through all of this. Reminding myself that He has my best interest at hand. Always.

The Greatest Feeling in the World

... is knowing that you are following God's direction for your life. Hands down that is the greatest feeling in the world. Why? Because for someone who doesn't know much, who is afraid of making big life changing decisions... for someone who thinks and rethinks over the small things, it's pretty amazing to know that all I had to do was take the first step and let Him lead. And that's a great feeling. I'm not overwhelmed with the stresses of post-college syndrome of not knowing where to settle and get a real job. I have a real job. Maybe not with an American salary, but definitely with hours put in outside of the "work week". And still, God is great and he has provided for me this entire time!
     It is exciting to come back to the places where I grew up. To see familiar faces and be reunited with the ones I loved just before the big change. To be able to visit all of my past favorite places and eat the food that I only dream of having in another country. and while, yes, being here does make me miss some things here and there.... it makes me miss the country that I've grown to love over the year just a little bit more.
     God is moving folks. He is about to release some wild things and we need to be ready for it. We need to check ourselves and remind ourselves that our focus needs to be on Him and glorifying His kingdom before anything else. it's SOO exciting!! My heartbeat is racing thinking about all that is to come. You know, sometimes you have to let go of wanting to have life run perfectly and let God (who already knows everything) take control. I know this. It has been a crazy lesson to learn over the years. But I believe that He has my best interest at heart.

... and I think I can trust Him with my heart. with All of my heart.

God's Faithfulness

I've been in Texas for a little over a week now and I'm just blown away by God's faithfulness. I love this city (Austin). I feel like out of all of the places that I've lived, I really grew up here. But at the same time my heart misses Honduras and I can't wait to get back.

I had no idea what God was up to when I decided to trust Him in the decision to move to Honduras. This time last year I was in a battle with myself about the change, but now I can see more of God's purpose in placing me there.

Even as I sit here at Starbucks, reading Jude and drinking a coffee that I spent way too much on, I get nervous all over again. I'm nervous to be here in Texas. I'm anxious about seeing some people even though at one point we were close friends. It's hard to explain. But I am thankful. I'm thankful for the conversations that I have been able to have and for those that are to come.

Okay, gonna get back to reading.

holding loosely

Here's something I read in a devotional a few months ago and just saw it again today. The truth behind these words really hit home - twice. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Just imagine you are in the palm of God's hand, always.

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"I am here, I want to be with you, I am holding onto you. However, my hands are gently holding, with as much space as I can create for you to breath and move."

Imagine a delicate, colorful butterfly flitting around your yard and landing on your hand. How would you hold it? If you held your hands completely open, palms flat, chances are it would fly away. In contrast, imagine if you squeezed your hands together and held on tightly, in fear of losing her. It might hurt her. 

But what if you cupped your hands to where they created a safe, enclosed, yet spacious place for her to be?

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Puts some things into perspective doesn't it. I believe that the last option is where God has placed us  in His hands. I believe that God loves us so much that He is willing to give us the space we need, yet He holds onto us so that we don't fly away. 

Made it to Texas!

After what seemed like a long journey this morning, I made it home. Tummy was fed with none other than the delicious Chipotle and the laughter with friends begun. I will be honest, I was getting very anxious about coming home while sitting at the airport this morning, but now that I'm here I am very thankful for this opportunity to invest time with the ones who have stuck with me throughout the last 5 years of my life. They truly are the ones who have seen me grow.
     Now that I'm here I have a list of things that I want to do. Coffee at Dominican Joe's, running at the river, swimming at Deep Eddy's, Trudy's, a little shopping at the outlet mall, art house visit, and a capital lawn picnic just to name a few. Sigh. Two weeks. It will go by fast, but I'm ready for fun filled days.

     BRING IT ON AUSTIN!!