We all want to be loved. The deep rooted desire to be held by someone and know that you are Loved - to be in that moment. I know that I want that. Even though I know that I am Loved by many, sometimes it feels as though I don't feel that Love. And the crazy thing is, is that we aren't meant to be the sole Love providers for one another. There is a Love that is so much greater than the Love that any other human being can give. So yes, I have expressed my feelings towards tomorrow's holiday. I'm not a fan. But, even though I've had this negative attitude about it for the past few weeks, I'm going to step in and hope for the best. I will still do my best to show God's Love to my students and be a good sport... even with all of the high school Valentine's stuff being passed around.
This song has been very true to my heart lately. I hope you find yourself wanting more of God's Love. Happy Valentine's Day - whatever that may mean to you. :)
All to you, I surrender
Everything, Every part of me.
All to you, I surrender
All of my dreams, All of me.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Take The Risk
Since this past Friday, life here has been full of risk-taking adventures. It started off with a trip down to El Centro (the downtown area sort-of speak) with Susie. I had thought about going alone - I really just needed to get off the mountain - but then later realized that it wouldn't be wise and Susie came to my rescue (just in time!). So we jumped on the 430 bus from the school heading down the mountain. We stopped at the bottom of the hill only to find out that we (Susie and I) were about to head on a walk across town right smack in the middle of one of the busiest times of day - rush hour. I bit my lip and tried my best to keep up with her. Now, for those of you who don't know Susie, she is a little ball of fire. She is as tough as it comes, personality wise, yet looks like a sweet little angel (hope she agrees with this - if not, lo siento). So we walked. As soon as we started walking she began to take count of how many times men would comment on her stunning blue eyes (the total ended up being 6, which isn't that much to be honest). Well, to cut this story off short... we made it to the El Centro, did a little shopping together, grabbed a coffee, and headed back up the mountain on a late Rapiditio. Doesn't seem like that much of an adventure, but two gringos (yes, one of those two is me) down in the center of the city as the sun goes down... probably not the smartest idea, but the energy was exciting.
Moving on to the weekend. Throughout January I had been taking a "break" from a few things. I really did have a hard January and needed to regroup, but since the month has come to a close, I've been doing much better. Saturday morning, while at the Stadium Market, I decided to go off and do a little grocery shopping on my own - practice a little spanish without the aid of others, that type of thing. The trip was successful (I even had a drink out of the traditional plastic bag). Later that afternoon I caught the bus and went to see the girls varsity soccer team play (we lost 1-0) only to head back up the mountain on a safari-like vehicle. Yes, think of a Safari and that is exactly what the car was like... then think about potholes and a curvy mountain road... A-D-V-E-N-T-U-R-E.
That evening I went back to youth group for the first time since I went home for Christmas back in December, and although it made me a little bit nervous to see everyone again, it was a great night out with them. After the service I had my first ride down the hill sitting on the side of a bicycle as Richard steered us to the apartment gate. (At one point he wanted to let go of the handle bar, but my body was too nervous and very unsteady - wish I had a picture of it... next time). The night ended with conversations and games with friends... but we'll skip over that part.
Sunday morning... I walked myself over to church with my guitar on my back. Yup... I was a nervous little walker. I was trying to think that it wasn't a big deal... but you always hear all of the crazy stories about people messing with people so of course that was in the back of my head the whole time. But yes, I did make it to church safe and sound. Isn't God good?! After the service, I was invited to have lunch with a few people from church so we went down to the city to eat ... and it was then (as I got out of the car) that I realized that I was the only girl surrounded by at least 8 guys (made me feel like I was back home). Again I found myself listening to more Spanish (even though the topic under discussion was very mannish) and trying to translate more in my head. It was great (and the food was delicious too)! We went back home, and before we headed off to the next event on the list I was confronted with a difficult decision.
I found the girls laying out on the grass in the sun just outside of their apartments and decided to join them for a bit before I had to head out again. Richard showed up out of nowhere... on a bike. Motorbike to be exact. The girls (Lauren, Keri, and Sarah) were excited over the opportunity to have a ride on a bike, but I had other strong feelings about the situation. Motorcycles remind me of one thing... Ashley. The story of her death replayed in my head, and as Lauren got back from her ride the girls asked if I wanted to have a ride as well. While I did want a ride, I was so nervous on the inside. I had such strong feelings against bikes, but then bit the bullet and hopped on. I was taking a risk, and luckily I had a trust-worthy driver. Yes, it was a short ride (and my first ride on a motorbike), but it in a sense was a first step towards getting over the fear of bikes. The rest of that evening was full of a Bible study at Richard's house, more conversations in Spanish, Super bowl party at the Kolmodin's house, and then some grading and school work. It was definitely a weekend full of adventure.
Even today, I feel as though I have been letting go of some of that hidden want to be cautious and have control. I've been taking more risks and trusting that everything will work out. Now whether the end results/side-effects are worth it depends on the situation, but it's worth the shot anyways. At least I'm learning from some of the things that I do. :)
Moving on to the weekend. Throughout January I had been taking a "break" from a few things. I really did have a hard January and needed to regroup, but since the month has come to a close, I've been doing much better. Saturday morning, while at the Stadium Market, I decided to go off and do a little grocery shopping on my own - practice a little spanish without the aid of others, that type of thing. The trip was successful (I even had a drink out of the traditional plastic bag). Later that afternoon I caught the bus and went to see the girls varsity soccer team play (we lost 1-0) only to head back up the mountain on a safari-like vehicle. Yes, think of a Safari and that is exactly what the car was like... then think about potholes and a curvy mountain road... A-D-V-E-N-T-U-R-E.
That evening I went back to youth group for the first time since I went home for Christmas back in December, and although it made me a little bit nervous to see everyone again, it was a great night out with them. After the service I had my first ride down the hill sitting on the side of a bicycle as Richard steered us to the apartment gate. (At one point he wanted to let go of the handle bar, but my body was too nervous and very unsteady - wish I had a picture of it... next time). The night ended with conversations and games with friends... but we'll skip over that part.
Sunday morning... I walked myself over to church with my guitar on my back. Yup... I was a nervous little walker. I was trying to think that it wasn't a big deal... but you always hear all of the crazy stories about people messing with people so of course that was in the back of my head the whole time. But yes, I did make it to church safe and sound. Isn't God good?! After the service, I was invited to have lunch with a few people from church so we went down to the city to eat ... and it was then (as I got out of the car) that I realized that I was the only girl surrounded by at least 8 guys (made me feel like I was back home). Again I found myself listening to more Spanish (even though the topic under discussion was very mannish) and trying to translate more in my head. It was great (and the food was delicious too)! We went back home, and before we headed off to the next event on the list I was confronted with a difficult decision.
I found the girls laying out on the grass in the sun just outside of their apartments and decided to join them for a bit before I had to head out again. Richard showed up out of nowhere... on a bike. Motorbike to be exact. The girls (Lauren, Keri, and Sarah) were excited over the opportunity to have a ride on a bike, but I had other strong feelings about the situation. Motorcycles remind me of one thing... Ashley. The story of her death replayed in my head, and as Lauren got back from her ride the girls asked if I wanted to have a ride as well. While I did want a ride, I was so nervous on the inside. I had such strong feelings against bikes, but then bit the bullet and hopped on. I was taking a risk, and luckily I had a trust-worthy driver. Yes, it was a short ride (and my first ride on a motorbike), but it in a sense was a first step towards getting over the fear of bikes. The rest of that evening was full of a Bible study at Richard's house, more conversations in Spanish, Super bowl party at the Kolmodin's house, and then some grading and school work. It was definitely a weekend full of adventure.
Even today, I feel as though I have been letting go of some of that hidden want to be cautious and have control. I've been taking more risks and trusting that everything will work out. Now whether the end results/side-effects are worth it depends on the situation, but it's worth the shot anyways. At least I'm learning from some of the things that I do. :)
These are pics from the Stadium Market. I was able to get all of these veggies/fruit for under $10!
The video below is of Lauren on the bike with Richard (he gave us all a short ride).
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| And here it is folks... Amanda on an actual motorbike. |
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