Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Learning not to Complain

I have found myself very frustrated with myself lately. I'm reminded of my little girl years and the amount of complaining that I shared with the world (or mostly just my parents). I complained about a lot. I complained about pain here or pain there or just how things weren't fair. Well, now I'm much older, still enduring pain every now and then, but the only difference is that the audience has changed. I don't want to be that annoying girl who constantly has something to say about everything that's happening around her. Lately I've been having these migraines, but I have no idea where they're coming from. And even more recently.... I "fully dislocated" my left pinky. You would think that an injury to your pinky wouldn't be too bad... think again. It hurts to even put my hair up in a ponytail! (Granted that I do have a lot of hair).

Well, if you know anything about me, you know that I make noises. There's a sound for everything. A sound for when I wake up in the morning. A sound for when I'm cooking, or telling stories, or to show frustration, or pure happiness. And don't forget the numerous amount of sounds that come out when I play any competitive sport/game. So of course it only comes naturally for noises to come out when I'm in a constant pain. Every involuntary movement from my left hand includes some shot of pain through the side of my left hand. Then I felt frustrated. I'm trying not to be a big baby and just suck it up, but it's definitely a challenge. Most of the time I catch myself complaining after the noise has already been shared.

Anyway, all of this to say that I've been learning little things about myself that I am constantly working on to improve. I may still complain every now and then, but it's nothing like it use to be. :)

Not broken. 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Love and Reconnect

I'm not a mother yet. One of many things that I am thankful for right now. I can't imagine what it would be like to love someone so much that you would rather die than to have them be hurting. I have close friends from my past that I find myself still caring for even though we have spent several years apart and without communication. I've recently have had the pleasure of reconnecting with many of those friends, and just hearing what they've been going through over the past few years is astonishing. Lives go on. The story doesn't end when relationships do (or when they take a pause). The "could have", "would have", "wanted to have happened" scenarios play repeat in my head. It's definitely a challenge to learn how to take those relationship and enjoy them for what they now are, and to let the "what they were" stay behind. We are all grown up dealing with real life problems. We are adults, and to be honest, reality hurts. It's a stinger. Yet I love them the same way. I can tell that the love that I have for them is still the same. I value them more though. I only wish that those years that we were apart were years where we stay connected without the having to reconnect.

Anyways, the point that I'm trying to make is that if I love them this much now, even past the years of no communication and the changes that we all made to our lives, how much more could I love someone else who God allowed me to create? Or love someone who God has called me to spend the rest of my life with? Or even better, how much did Jesus love us that He would actually die for us? The thought of that is overwhelming.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

1 Peter 5: 10-11

After you have suffered a little while.

Who ever wants to read those words, let alone read them and feel the truth behind them? If you've been  keeping up with this blog you should have a glimpse of what this year has been like for me. Suffering is an understatement. I have struggled in many areas, but thankfully it is only for a little while. The scripture continues to say, "[He will] restore you and make you strong, firm, steadfast". Before I left Austin to come here to Honduras, one very sweet young lady told me that I was like a palm tree. She said that I may go through storms or hurricanes and be tossed left and right, but in the end I will stand strong because I know who my creator is. I can bend one way or another when under pressure, but I will always bounce back into the position in which I was intended to be in. How awesome is that! Even through the suffering (for a little while I might add), God will restore us and make us strong, firm, and steadfast. "To him be the power forever and ever. Amen."

In the past I've tried to take charge of my life. I've tried to control my circumstances, tried to control my emotions and "make things happen" for my benefit. Now I see how wrong that was and I've grown from it. Thankfully God has not once left my side - I can be reassured of that. And thankfully I know who my creator is (and how powerful He really is!) and can bounce back and lean on that foundation before, during, and after the suffering. It's not an easy thing, and I definitely need to be reminded of that from time to time, but it is something that I know will never change.


A good reminder given to me by a senior student at ALP.  :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Pulapanzak

Our second three day weekend of the year and we took off. Four ladies total, Jenna, Britany, Leslie and I, all headed on an adventure. We finally decided on transportation the night before and had booked the cabin at least four days before. Whatever happened we were determined to get to the waterfall. Early Saturday morning we packed our bags and rapidittoed (took a mini bus) down the mountain into El Centro where we eventually caught a bus (might I mention a ghetto bus) heading out to La Guama. A few hours later we exited the bus and hopped onto another rapiditto to Pena Blanca and from there took a moto-taxi to our final destination... D&D Brewery. The hostel-type hotel (not really too sure what to call it as we stayed in a mini cabin) was more than what we had been expecting. The owners/managers were extremely welcoming and it was easy to get around in that little town. That evening we explored a little. We found a coffee farm (hiked through it on Monday) and eventually ended up at a river in which the girls rocked hopped for a while. We later ate dinner back at the brewery and played a few rounds of card games before we headed off to bed. Sunday is when all of the excitement took place. We slept in a little bit, then headed out for breakfast. After eating a typical Honduran desayuno (breakfast) we caught the next bus to the waterfall (Pulapanzak waterfall to be exact).
     Once we arrived, we explored the grounds. The waterfall was absolutely breath taking. Eventually three of us decided to venture over to the zip-linning stand. We were strapped in and headed off. It was my first time zip-lining and I had a blast!! The final zip-line was over the waterfall itself. SO AWESOME!! After that adventure we decided to hop on the next waterfall hike in which we would hike behind the falls and into a cave. We had no idea what we were about to get into. Although I couldn't take any pictures while under the waterfall, my memory still has a few flashbacks. As we hiked through mud and wet rocks, climbed over raging waters, walked under the pressure of falling water, and much more we feared for our lives. Our hike consisted of one tour guide and 12 hikers. Sound like a safe trip? Ugh... think again. Even though there were moments when I just wanted to be rescued, the pure beauty was so over powering. I was behind a fierce waterfall!! What's the chance of that happening again? I held on so tight to the rock wall and did my best to enjoy the moment. At one point I had a mind conversation with God. I said, "I know you will get me through this, but man! How beautiful is your creation!".
     Well... after the huge adrenaline rush from both events, we headed home, ate dinner, and were so exhausted that we didn't stay up too late that night. The last morning we took a mini hike through the coffee farm and then headed out. We caught the first rapiditto and stayed on as long as we could. After that... well.... let's just say that we were blessed with a comfortable ride back to Tegus complete with spacious seating, air conditioning and no charge.  :) Here are a few photos from the trip.

 

The Brewery




The Ladies

My Zip-linning Adventure!!!


Just before the behind the waterfall hike. Before we feared for our lives.



At the coffee farm.

Trying a freshly picked coffee bean. 



I wasn't a fan.

Our cabin in the midst of the forrest. So relaxing!

On our way home. 

THE END.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

7th Grade Hard at Work




My 7th graders working hard in class. They are such a blessing. Very funny too. :)
      




 

Focused, focused, focused!! 


Working on gesture drawings of people!

They were deep in the drawing process for two days!!


Friday, October 5, 2012

Lean Hard

I just read this and wanted to share. How often do we remember that the struggles and conflicts that we come across on a daily basis were predetermined by our Creator? That the issues that we face and the hurt that we deal with were placed in our lives because God wants to use it as an opportunity for us to learn to lean on Him more? I know that I don't always see my circumstances in that light. I see it as something that I have caused to happen to me (sounds a little selfish doesn't it?). So this devotional came at the right time. This week I struggled. I had more one-on-one parent-teacher conferences than I would like, students complaining and whining, and just overall stress over words that hurt. I've opened myself up and shared my struggles with others and I am believing that God is using my circumstances to somehow reveal His Glory. So back to this devotional... It was a good reminder that I do have a support system. I have the One who I can lean on and hand over my burdens.

Here it is...
Sarah's first bloom in the garden. 

"Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child. I shaped it;
Poised it in Mine Own hand; made no proportion
In its weight to thine unaided strength,
For even as I laid it on, I said,
'I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not hers;
So shall I keep My child within the circling arms
Of My Own love.' Here lay it down, nor fear
To impose it on a shoulder which upholds
he government of worlds. Yet closer come:
Thou art not near enough. I would embrace thy
care; So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then;
But Wing Me, lean hard."


I got this from the Streams in the Desert Devotional - Oct 5, 2012. I bolded the lines that stuck out to me the most as well. Enjoy!
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

Monday, October 1, 2012

He is with Me

As nervous as I get to share any part of my life with real people and not just with written words, I get to do it twice in one month. Today I shared my life struggles with my CareGroup and at the end of the month I will be sharing with the Pinares staff during the morning devotions. One thing is for sure… it's not me speaking. As much as I would like to prepare, God always seems to change my heart last minute and the realness comes out. Not that the prepared words are fake, but God's words that flow out of my mouth bring truth. I am thankful for that. I know that He is doing something great in me and as much as I sometimes struggle to get by, He is with me every step of the way.