Countdown to Insanity

This past week was I-N-S-A-N-E. And the worst thing is that nobody has any clue as to what it was like for me. Not their fault of course, but I have definitely been in hiding. In a week a student told me to shut up as they left my room, another practically cut off his finger with a box cutter (of course he was playing around and not taking things seriously), a crazy schedule due to the Independence Day celebration, I lost count as to how many lunch detentions and/or referrals I had last week, the past creeping up on me, friends who have been M.I.A., sleepless nights and really just the feeling of being so alone even when i live in such a close community. I am well aware that I have been hiding in this hole. I have been in a rut, and in some ways found that more comfortable than dealing with all of the millions of changes that my life is experiencing right now.

I miss being home at times. I miss getting to see/hold my nephew, and get a little jealous when I see pictures of others getting to hold him. I miss my freedom to be able to get up and go. I miss my old friends, from both here and there... but I am aware that they will never be the same. I'm nervous as to how this year is gong to play out, when the beginning has been so rough. Last year everyone said that the 2nd year is always easier. There is truth to that, but that statement is also a little misleading. Teaching is definitely easier. Knowing the kids brings the opportunity for deeper relationships, but it's outside of the classroom that is slowly bringing me to insanity.

So please, keep praying for all of the change. Pray for this community.