1000 Places to See before you Die.... and a New Year Blessing!

I'm getting it. A book of places to go and things to see. I'm going to do it - with milestones along the way. I'm thinking I can get through at least 100 of them by the time I turn 30 (or 35). I have yet to see the list, but I'm sure it will be amazing! Now, I realize that I may not get to the ultimate goal of seeing all 1000... but that's the challenge. So if you ever need a travel buddy, let me know!

My ultimate destination... The Dome of the Rock.  In Israel.

The time has come for New Years resolutions. New Years is my favorite holiday!! Last year I had three resolutions, two of which I accomplished, one of which is still "in process". This year, I have no idea. I have things that I'd like to do, but I'm unsure if I would have time to actually do them. I would love to get back in touch with playing the piano again. I'd like to read the entire Bible at least once, maybe even memorize an entire book or two this year. I'd like to train to run a 5K. I'd like to write a song. Become a mentor. Who knows what will happen this year. I'm literally going to take it as the day comes. 

      A lot is going to happen this year - a lot of changes. Whatever that means for you, I pray that above all you feel the peace and direction of God through all of your decisions. That you feel the comfort and courage through all of your travels, and that you are overwhelmed by the Love that He offers daily. 

Priorities

Today was a rough day. I'm restless. It's a hard day to sit and be still. We all have one more day left in 2012. Then the new year will come, along with all of it's uncertainties and blessings. But I can't help but wonder... what are your priorities? Is it family, friends? Is it your job or the pursuit of the "perfect" career? Is it yourself? Is God somewhere in there?
     I find it hard to pinpoint just one area. Reflecting, I can see periods of my life where certain things/people took precedence. Back when school was a priority, or a boyfriend, or even myself. That's not so much the case now, but there has to be something that takes place over everything else. One really valuable lesson that I've learned over the past few years has been to not stress over the little things. I've learned to keep work at work, and not take work home (unless there's a stack of projects and progress reports are due). I've desired to learn more about my creator and the Bible, and that has definitely been a larger priority for me this year. But, what is yours? Where does your heart belong? Or, where is it kept?
     I've lived out of the house for a while now, going on almost 7 years, and I've really "grown-up". I'm not the same me from when I left - that's for sure. So it's difficult to return home. It's hard to see that my priorities are nowhere near the same as this place that I come and go from. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, but priorities do kinda mold who you are and how you act. I know that we're called to spread the Gospel. But how do I do that? What does that look like? It's a struggle, and it's made me restless. I want to, and I have a desire to, but I'm stuck. Priorities.
     This coming year I hope to get all of that straightened out. I hope to find the answers to the "how do I" questions. I hope to be more productive in my walk with God and in increasing His kingdom. Today we lost a very influential woman, the pastor's wife, Rochelle Nieman,  of Abundant living Faith Center - the church who first took me under their wings. She was the best example of what it looked like to be a true woman of God. And although I didn't know her as personally as others did, she radiated from a distance. I hope to get my priorities in line. Her's clearly were, and it showed.

In Loving memory.

Letter of Intent

As a student I could never focus at home. I always needed to be surrounded in a room (preferably coffee house) full of people being productive. Now by productive, that can mean a wide range of things, but that's besides the point. So I left the house today and found myself sitting at Barnes and Noble with a freshly blended Starbucks Frapp on my side and laptop open ready to get dirty. I thought about my career. That was my focus. Why am I an art teacher? Why did I decide to take this path in life? And, what am I going to do next? So I began writing a letter of intent, and it was very insightful.
I'm getting use to writing these days, it's almost becoming a hobby of sorts. So my focus for the following couple of hours was art education.
     I wrote about my education history, my teaching experience, what it was like being a first year teacher and a teacher in another country for that matter. I included information about my travels, employment, what I foresee happening in the future, all of that good stuff. And by the end I was very proud of myself. I've come a long way. Almost two years into teaching (a career that I had not originally planned or imagined I would enter) and I'm a survivor! I love working with kids. I love seeing their artwork reveal itself from a blank canvas to something amazing. I love the organization aspect that is required for my job. I have amazing co-workers and feel supported in what I do. I love the freedom to be creative and the trial and error that comes along. It's all very exciting to me.
     So I add it to the list of things that I am thankful for. Gratitude. This school year's theme. And I am so grateful for where God has brought me. I'm thankful in advance for where He is taking me, and I'm excited for the road ahead.

7th grade students drawing each other using the gesture drawing technique.
Love their enthusiasm! 

Blank Canvas

I bought a yard of canvas today. What can I say, I felt inspired. I was actually out on the hunt for a cute white apron to take back with me to Honduras, but ended up with a yard of canvas and a fabric marker.  What will I do with this fabulous yard of fabric you ask? Well, my plan is to have each of my current students add a character/cartoon animal to the canvas and just wait and see what happens. Kinda like a huge keepsake that I can frame later. They have the coolest little sketches. You know, the ones that kids doodle when they don't want to pay attention during their normal core-classes. I'm excited about it. There are so ways that this canvas can be transformed.
     I held onto the canvas while standing in the check out line and made a life connection. Some would say that I am an artist. (I wold say that I just really have a passion for creativity.) I tend to see things for the beauty that they could be rather than what it is. I see the potential. And when dealing with a blank slate, oh my, sometimes it can be overwhelming. Pre-college graduation I was a HUGE life planner. I liked knowing what was going to happen, when it would happen, times, who would be there, what to wear, etc. I was very detailed oriented about every event that was planned. And when there were no plans, whew... watch out world! I would stress myself out so much - it was exhausting. At that time, in my head, the plan was to graduate, get married, move, start teaching and begin the next chapter of life. Then my life hit the washing machine.
     Pre-college graduating I was wiped clean. My canvas, or actually more like a roadmap, was put in the washer. All of the details, trails, markings, doodles, stickers, etc were washed away and until the canvas dried was I able to breath again and begin a second chance at creating a masterpiece.
     My second chance was a struggle. I wanted it to be the same as the art that I had previously created. There's no such thing. I had to start over and this time MY planning was going to take me nowhere. So I held onto the brush and waited. (I did a lot of waiting.) Before I knew it, the blueprint was being constructed.
     There I was, holding onto a blank canvas and waiting with anticipation to see what would come of the artwork. As I waited, He delivered. My Creator created. And I feel more than blessed to have been on this artistic journey, recreating a masterpiece out of a washed canvas. Now, don't get me wrong, it's no fun starting from scratch. But it's the process that makes the end result so enjoyable. It's all about the events that occur in the in-betweens that bring it all together. (I hope that made some sense.) It's really exciting.
     And I'm excited. While all of that was just a metaphor, my students now have the opportunity to create a masterpiece out of a blank canvas. Who knows what this will look like three months from now, but I am expecting great things from them. In a way this is my life. A continuous drawing on a blank canvas.

Decision Season

Here's some good advice I read today.

          In times of uncertainty, wait. Always, if you have any doubt, wait. Do not force yourself to any action. If     

          you have a restraint in your spirit, wait until all is clear, and do not go against it.

It came at a perfect timing. Actually, now that I think about it, I feel like this is the second time I've heard this in two weeks. Right now many of us are making decisions that could drastically affect the course of our lives this coming year. Some of us might be weighing out the options - making several pros and cons lists. For me, one promise that I continue to hold onto is Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

I know there are options. Some have kinda slapped me in the face. I know there is a comfort zone in which I shouldn't retreat to, but press forward in. I am aware of some of the struggles that are ahead of me, but I know that I won't be going through them alone. So for now, in the middle of the decision season I will wait for clarity. 

It's not a comfortable place to be in (being an ex-life planner and all), but it's a place where I can be reassured that whatever the outcome, something good will be brought forth. There are lessons that need the be learned.

I'm thankful for this reminder. 

My nephew chillin' in his bouncer. Talking up a storm.

Not a big deal.... or maybe

So there's less than a one week countdown and I am inching towards getting 5000 views!!! I feel like a celebrity! (No I don't, yes I do, no.... I don't. Okay, so only kind-of like a celebrity.) Whoop, whoop! Not to jump ahead of myself and say that it will of course happen, that my 4 moves up to a 5, but it would be pretty cool. So here's my challenge to myself. I'm going to post something every day from now until New Years eve in hopes of making that number change. (Just to add a little bit of holiday cheer to my life). 

     Hope you enjoy what may come out over the next 6 days and that God may use this time to speak a little into your hearts and reveal some things about mine. ;)

Merry CHRISTmas

As I get older and find myself huddled over a pile of gifts, I also find myself feeling overwhelmed with thanksgiving. God has provided my family with so much - more than we may even realize. And the crazy thing is that it has become our "normal", another routine to our annual festivities. I am thankful and excited about the gifts that I received this year, but it goes beyond the gift wrapping and thoughtful present picking. I am thankful that we were able to get together for one night, play games, eat, talk about life and what the new year will hold, and then pray. We prayed together. We even sang happy birthday to Jesus. What a blessing it was to be in a room filled with relatives who wanted to pray together - even if for one night. I'm thankful for that five minutes where we could forget about all of the chaos going on around us and just offer thanksgiving up to our creator.

I can't help but be EXCITED!!!

Things may not be the same as two Christmases ago, but this year my heart is filled. I came across this random song by a random artist on Noisetrade with lyrics that speak straight to my single 25-year old self. So many friends are now entering the stage that I once held onto and I can't help but be so excited for them. They are all relationships that you can see God moving in, and that's what's so amazing. How awesome is that! I pray that God will be able to use them together to minister to others in a deep way. Although my own feelings about the subject have wavered here and there, I am reassured that God knows my desires. He wouldn't give them to me if he didn't want them for me. Right? So trust I will. And wait (the hard part). But today, when many are snuggled up close and find themselves wandering under a mistletoe, I will rejoice for them, thank God for planning out my future and pray for that person that God has yet to reveal.
     Any-who, this song... although it can sound kinda girly, the lyrics are words that I can only hope are true to the relationship that God will bring. Here are the lyrics that I can't help but get excited about this Christmas.

Sweet dreams and lullabies, 

staring up at the summer skies. 

Trusting in the mighty king above,

in bringing me the one that I'm supposed to love.

I pray about you every night and day.

I can't wait to finally hear you say

I'll be with you until the very end

because I love you.

I'm waiting patiently cuz I know it's not a race, 

but I'll keep on running until I see your pretty face.

I've been saving my heart for you. 

I want a love that lasts and always stays true.

Your prince is here to come and sweep you off your feet, 

I'll keep on fighting until that day we finally meet.

I'll be by your side until the very end because

I love you.

God I trust you with my life

You know my desires, 

my future wife

and I'm so glad 

with you there is no fait 

now all I have to do is trust and wait.

Girl, dont you know

that even though I'm not there to be yours right now

My God has it all in his hands.

Even when times get tough

I will turn and trust in his promises

His love will be the core of who we are.

So with all of that said, it's exciting!! I'm praying. Not that it will come soon (although I wouldn't mind that), but for a solid foundation. The last stanza is the most important... His love will be the core of who we are. That right there just makes my heart skip a beat! I can't help but be excited!!
     For all of you who are in that stage that I only hope to be in someday, congratulations! I'm excited for you too! May God truly be the center of your relationship. And may he continuously bless you this Christmas and coming new year.

Reconnect with the Now

I read a woman's blog today while standing in a ridiculously long line at a clothing store titled When Your Soul Needs To Feel It's Worth and it was worth the read. She writes about the importance in taking time daily to acknowledge where you are right now, to take in those deep breaths and reconnect with the now.
     I find myself thinking about the future way too often these days. Those thoughts of where I will be or what I will be doing (even in three months) consume some of my days and that's not right. How can someone fully experience the now when the mind is focused on the future? I'm reminded by todays blog to take that time to breathe deeply, reconnect with who I am - with who God has made me to be, and to thank God for the day ahead and ask for opportunities to bless. You could also say, to take the time to bring yourself back to reality.
     The world was supposed to end today (according to the Mayan calendar), and here I am sitting on a tiny couch, drinking a hot cup of mint tea with my dog at my feet typing and thanking God for another day. Now that I think about it, all my previous focus about the future wouldn't have mattered anyways if today was really the end of the world. So I type anyways and I take deep breaths. And I focus on today.
     It's good for me to evaluate where I am: spiritually, physically, mentally. It helps me to stay sane. I was really sick last week. I couldn't eat anything without feeling like it would soon resurface (not the point of this blog, but just an F.Y.I.). On top of that I was feeling anxious about the travel and what changes that would bring to my daily routine. I was nervous and unsettled. And now, I am here. I'm home, reconnecting with my roots, reevaluating life, and rediscovering my purpose. It's a challenging place to be in, but one in which I know I will grow - mostly because I know who stands besides me.

"Do you remember where you stand and who stands besides you?"

Thankful for the Thorns

In a place of hurting, mourning over the loss of innocent lives, where do we turn? Where do we find our answers? Where do we seek our comfort? The mindset is so radical, so "out of the ordinary"... to be thankful for the moments of difficulty (the "thorns" that lead up to the rosebud). I find myself asking God about the outcome of things. Wanting answers way before their timing. I ask questions like, "What will life be like after this situation passes?" or "What good is this doing for me to have to go through this now? Why now?" Some of those questions never really get answered, but the lessons are still learned. The thorns allow me to learn. These moments that bring tears to my eyes allow me the opportunity to thank God. As I type this, my heart aches. For all of those who are hurting and whose hearts feel no beat. I ache as I sit here and remind myself that now is the time to be thankful. Now is the time to truly glorify God for who He is. In the midst of the pain and suffering. Now is not the time to ask all the questions that may never get answered, now is the time to reflect of God's goodness and offer Him our praise. It's a difficult task. But one that we must try to carry on.

I have been so blessed by our school's theme for the year: Gratitude. For in everything we are to be thankful, not only in the good, but in the struggles as well. This is one of them. A struggle to look at the positive when everything seems to be in the negative. The act of being thankful for the thorns. It's a change of heart for sure. A conscious decision to shift focus. Away from self and towards our Creator. How radical is that. I just hope that if trauma ever hits me closer to home than I'd ever want, that I would be prepared to offer thanksgiving to God and not condemn Him. Now is the time. In everything, offer thanksgiving.

Thankful for the Thorns

 

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Cor. 12:10).

 

The literal translation of this verse gives a startling emphasis to it, and makes it speak for itself with a force that we have probably never realized. Here It is: "Therefore I take pleasure in being without strength, in insults, in being pinched, in being chased about, in being cooped up in a corner for Christ's sake; for when I am without strength, then am I dynamite."

 

Here is the secret of Divine all-sufficiency, to come to the end of everything in ourselves and in our circumstances. When we reach this place, we will stop asking for sympathy because of our hard situation or bad treatment, for we will recognize these things as the very conditions of our blessing, and we will turn from them to God and find in them a claim upon Him. --A. B. Simpson

 

***

 

George Matheson, the well-known blind preacher of Scotland, who recently went to be with the Lord, said: "My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn. I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross; but I have never thought of my cross as itself a present glory.

 

"Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows."

 

"Alas for him who never sees The stars shine through the cypress trees."

FROM: http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/  Day: 15DEC2012

Sit still

It is so true. God is able to best use us when we are willing to sit and listen. To sit still and wait.... wait on Him. We all think we're adults (or adults in training), but really we are all children. We have tendencies to become anxious about tomorrow, unable to sit still, have shortness in patience and are unwilling to cooperate sometimes. We have minds of our own and don't always make the best decisions. So when told to sit still, I don't know about you, but I just want to get up and run! But it is true. That moment that you find yourself helpless and tired of trying, that moment when you allow yourself to sit still and look up towards your Fatner in heaven... He will deliver. He will rescue your heart. 

I'm thankful to have learned even the tiniest meaning behind sitting still. And listening, oh boy, that's a whole other lesson to be learned. But I'm slowly getting there. And it's a whole other world. 

Inward Stillness

"Their strength is to sit still." (Isa. 30:7).

In order really to know God, inward stillness is absolutely necessary. I remember when I first learned this. A time of great emergency had risen in my life, when every part of my being seemed to throb with anxiety, and when the necessity for immediate and vigorous action seemed overpowering; and yet circumstances were such that I could do nothing, and the person who could, would not stir.

For a little while it seemed as if I must fly to pieces with the inward turmoil, when suddenly the still small voice whispered in the depths of my soul, "Be still, and know that I am God." The word was with power, and I hearkened. I composed my body to perfect stillness, and I constrained my troubled spirit into quietness, and looked up and waited; and then I did "know" that it was God, God even in the very emergency and in my helplessness to meet it; and I rested in Him. It was an experience that I would not have missed for worlds; and I may add also, that out of this stillness seemed to arise a power to deal with the emergency, that very soon brought it to a successful issue. I learned then effectually that my "strength was to sit still."  --Hannah Whitall Smith

from: http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

Mysterious Wall

So true.

A piece from today's devotional.

There are times and places where God will form a mysterious wall around us, and cut away all props, and all the ordinary ways of doing things, and shut us up to something Divine, which is utterly new and unexpected, something that old circumstances do not fit into, where we do not know just what will happen, where God is cutting the cloth of our lives on a new pattern, where He makes us look to Himself.

 

Most religious people live in a sort of treadmill life, where they can calculate almost everything that will happen, but the souls that God leads out into immediate and special dealings, He shuts in where all they know is that God has hold of them, and is dealing with them, and their expectation is from Him alone.

God has a hold of them, and is dealing with them.

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

Tired Legs.

I can't even begin to describe what Day 4's are like. They are long, sometimes miserable, exhausting, my voice hurts, my legs feel like they could break off at any given time and I want to be anything but a teacher on Day 4's. To look on the bright side, Day 4's only come once a week. Thank you God for that. Once a week I have to really suck it up and pray that God be my strength for the day, because I know that I could lose it by the time 5th period comes around (and that's before lunch!). These days are hard and long, sometimes I run on auto pilot, but lately I've been finding myself looking for things to be thankful for. Making the act of being thankful a part of my job. At times I feel the peace and reassurance of God being on my side, but sometimes it truly is a struggle.

I know I still have a lot to learn. I always will. That doesn't bother me. But, I'm excited to see and feel a difference in the areas where I am learning and growing (and to be able to see God moving there as well).

It's still the end of Day 4 for this week, and only one more Day 4 to go before I head back to Texas for Christmas break, I'm exhausted. Exhausted, but still very thankful that God brought me through today and has given me the ability to teach and still be somewhat sane.

5 days of Fasting

It's true what they say. When you decide to follow Christ, life does not become easier. Instead, life has many more obstacles. It's like I have been off-roading in a dessert full of sand dunes lately. No joke. But what amazes me is that somehow God allows me to still feel peace. I told Julie (my roommate) once that it hurt to smile. And it did back then. But now, even with some of the same struggles, if not very similar struggles, I can smile without the hurt. My heart can still feel all warm and fuzzy even through the chaos. So back to last week. As soon as I returned from a getaway to an island (for reals! crazy, I know) I had to do something to challenge my spirit. So I fasted. For 5 days. Ok, so that just made me sound really heroic, but it's nothing like that. I fasted every day, but allowed myself to eat dinner. I am a breakfast girl. I mean full on ham and eggs, apple juice, toast or french toast (on a really good day) kinda girl. So fasting breakfast was the biggest challenge of all. Not to mention, I am a teacher to 10 different classes... 210 students! So yes, my stomach was trippin'. But I made it. And God showed up. But so did temptation. And the fight was daily.
     I dedicated each day to a different aspect of my life. Day 1: Family. Day 2: Students/my ministry here with them. Day 3: Friends and community. Day 4: My desires, and desires in general. Day 5: My future - decisions, open doors, opportunity.

     It's good to get back in line with God. And to really just come bare foot and kneeling before Him. I know that He heard all that I had to say and even those words that didn't make it out. He knows and I can rest assured that He will take care of it all. And through that week long challenge I held onto the promise in 1 Peter 5:10

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all Grace, 

who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, 

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

A beautiful sunset right outside my front door.

A Roatan Thanksgiving!

This year for Thanksgiving, I decided to get outta' town and head over to the beach. Destination: Roatan, Honduras (apparently world-renoun for their scuba diving). I ended up going with three other lovely Pinares teachers, Brittany, Leslie and Melynda. We spent a total of 3.something days and 3 nights in a pretty sweet hotel... and of course had a blast. Other than the lazy mornings/afternoons on the pier/beach, our trip included parasailing and snorkeling! Two things that I had never done before!! Both were awesome, but snorkeling there was mind-blowing! I felt like I was in a real-life version of Finding Nemo. Next time I visit, I will be sure to go scuba diving. The food there was very tasty and I was even surprised with a little bit of home for our Thanksgiving dinner. We ended up at a Texas themed beach-side restaurant with authentic Texas food!! That night, my heart melted with joy (no joke). Anyways, here are a few pictures of the events that happened that fine weekend away from Tegus.

 

 

FW: Pressing Forward

I wanted to share this. It is all material from a devotional that I occasionally glance at. Enjoy!

Pressing Forward

 

"I was crushed...so much so that I despaired even of life, but that was to make me rely not on myself, but on the God who raises the dead" (2 Cor. 1:8, 9).

 

***

 

"Pressed out of measure and pressed to all length;

Pressed so intensely it seems, beyond strength;

Pressed in the body and pressed in the soul,

Pressed in the mind till the dark surges roll.

Pressure by foes, and a pressure from friends.

Pressure on pressure, till life nearly ends.

 

"Pressed into knowing no helper but God;

Pressed into loving the staff and the rod.

Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;

Pressed into faith for impossible things.

Pressed into living a life in the Lord,

Pressed into living a Christ-life outpoured."

 

***

 

The pressure of hard places makes us value life. Every time our life is given back to us from such a trial, it is like a new beginning, and we learn better how much it is worth, and make more of it for God and man. The pressure helps us to understand the trials of others, and fits us to help and sympathize with them.

 

There is a shallow, superficial nature, that gets hold of a theory or a promise lightly, and talks very glibly about the distrust of those who shrink from every trial; but the man or woman who has suffered much never does this, but is very tender and gentle, and knows what suffering really means. This is what Paul meant when he said, "Death worketh in you."

 

Trials and hard places are needed to press us forward, even as the furnace fires in the hold of that mighty ship give force that moves the piston, drives the engine, and propels that great vessel across the sea in the face of the winds and waves.  --A. B. Simpson

 

***

 

"Out of the presses of pain,

Cometh the soul's best wine;

And the eyes that have shed no rain,

Can shed but little shine."

November 18 Entry

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

The Big 2-5.

When I woke up yesterday, I was recovering from the night before. The night prior to my "big day" I was overwhelmed, exhausted and emotionally spent.

My roommate surprised me with pumpkin scones in the morning even though she got up earlier to get on the Market Bus headed for Walmart!! And low and behold, my neighbor Brittany also made me some pumpkin scones with a cream cheese frosting!!!  :D So to say the least, I had a wonderful breakfast... it was delicious!! But even after the wonderful breakfast... I couldn't stay up on the mountain. My spirit needed to get away and take in another surrounding. So I joined Britt on an adventure to the city for lunch (at Matambritas...yumm) and time spent at a coffee bar (The Mocha Lounge). As Britt and I were sitting down eating lunch under the warming sun, three beautiful ladies drove by (Keri, Lauren and Sarah), rolled down their windows and sang the birthday song to me right there in the middle of the road. (!!!). It was the best unexpected surprise! Later on Lauren came up to our table, and surprise hugged me! So sweet!! We finished up lunch, then I headed off to Mocha Lounge. I ordered the Milkyway Cappuccino - the most intense blend of chocolate, coffee and peanut butter drink I've ever had. I enjoyed the next two hours sitting on the comfy couches, sipping on my intense drink and reading all about God's goodness (not to mention also catching up on texts and facebook messages). It was definitely what I needed for that time. Baking in the midst of God's Goodness. :)

It was soon time to head back up for all the Birthday festivities. When I entered my apartment I was embraced by my roommate, Julie, who I hadn't seen all day and some good neighbors getting everything for the birthday dinner (chicken alfredo pizza w/roasted broccoli and bread sticks!). I sat and just took everything in. I was still overwhelmed with so much on my heart. i really wanted one specific person to be there, but knew that it was an impossible request. And thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. To say the least, I broke down. Tears filled my eyes when I tried to explain how I was feeling to Julie.  She prayed over the night and the festivities began. Soon our apartment was filled with 7 beautiful God-fearing women who got together to make dinner and sit around the coffee table in celebration of my birthday. The food was delicious, and the surprise homemade strawberry cheesecake (made by our very own Josh) was the best was to end dinner. We quickly packed up the mess we made from dinner and headed over to A2 for games and a cupcake competition.

Dinner Ladies Minus Julie the Photographer  ;)

As I entered the door, a bizillion people screamed out HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! It was epic! I felt the love for sure! Hugs went around and we just enjoyed the night being in each other's company. A few rounds of the card game Spoons were played, fireworks were released just outside of the apartments where we were able to clearly see from the back balcony (Thanks Presidential preliminary elections!!), and of course there was hot chocolate and cupcake decorating/kicking/grabbing involved throughout the night. After the party died down, we went outside for a little star gazing (the sky was so clear and BEAUTIFUL!!). Josh happened to stop by with his telescope and set it up so that I could see Jupiter!! It was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!! His little star gazer app was pretty cool too.

We had a Shark in a sea of blue hearts, A Panda, Mountain of Oreos, Ode to Mustache, two-tiered cupcake, snowman, person with a hat, Texas!!, use to be a guy before it got kicked cupcake, and a mouse. All entries in the contest. (From top left to bottom right). .... oh, the Panda won. Texas was a very, very close 2nd. 

To top off the night, and into the morning, a fabulous group of 6 of us went out for a late night trip to Denny's. It was a great end to a pretty wonderful birthday.

I was definitely spoiled and overwhelmed with love yesterday. I'm so thankful for the friends and family who took the time to wish me a happy birthday. I really do appreciate it and it means a lot. I'm also thankful for everyone who came out to just hangout. The party turned out to be so much more than what I had imagined. You all are amazing.

To say the least, I'm excited for what this year has to offer. I'm believing for big things to happen this year. God knows the desires of my heart and I know that He's listening closely.

Worship at it's Purest

It's overwhelming. But in an overwhelming sense of peace, comfort, and security in that I follow a God who is never changing and whose love is never ending.

Tonight I experienced my 2nd concert here Honduras. The main performer was Christine D'Clario and even though I really didn't have a clue as to who who she was before tonight, I am a new fan. Her presence on stage was truly that of a pure worshiper. Her love for God and to bring others to Christ was clearly presented. And her voice... man.... how amazing that our God could create such beautiful things? I was definitely blessed by this concert. It was a chance to really just spread out in the middle of a baseball field and worship. With arms wide open and without a care in the world, singing my heart out even when I didn't know the words in Spanish but remembered them in English. I've been waiting for a moment like this. For the renewal of my spirit and a clear reminder from my Father in Heaven. The atmosphere was so sweet... difficult to explain... there just aren't any words that could perfectly describe the feeling of being in the presence of God like that. One of the things that really just warmed my soul was seeing so many young men down on their knees, worshiping and calling out to God. How encouraging. I pray that God raises up strong Christian men to be strong leaders in my generation and those to follow. We need them. And tonight was a reminder... that God is working. He is present and He has BIG plans.

How awesome.

Learning not to Complain

I have found myself very frustrated with myself lately. I'm reminded of my little girl years and the amount of complaining that I shared with the world (or mostly just my parents). I complained about a lot. I complained about pain here or pain there or just how things weren't fair. Well, now I'm much older, still enduring pain every now and then, but the only difference is that the audience has changed. I don't want to be that annoying girl who constantly has something to say about everything that's happening around her. Lately I've been having these migraines, but I have no idea where they're coming from. And even more recently.... I "fully dislocated" my left pinky. You would think that an injury to your pinky wouldn't be too bad... think again. It hurts to even put my hair up in a ponytail! (Granted that I do have a lot of hair).

Well, if you know anything about me, you know that I make noises. There's a sound for everything. A sound for when I wake up in the morning. A sound for when I'm cooking, or telling stories, or to show frustration, or pure happiness. And don't forget the numerous amount of sounds that come out when I play any competitive sport/game. So of course it only comes naturally for noises to come out when I'm in a constant pain. Every involuntary movement from my left hand includes some shot of pain through the side of my left hand. Then I felt frustrated. I'm trying not to be a big baby and just suck it up, but it's definitely a challenge. Most of the time I catch myself complaining after the noise has already been shared.

Anyway, all of this to say that I've been learning little things about myself that I am constantly working on to improve. I may still complain every now and then, but it's nothing like it use to be. :)

Not broken. 

Love and Reconnect

I'm not a mother yet. One of many things that I am thankful for right now. I can't imagine what it would be like to love someone so much that you would rather die than to have them be hurting. I have close friends from my past that I find myself still caring for even though we have spent several years apart and without communication. I've recently have had the pleasure of reconnecting with many of those friends, and just hearing what they've been going through over the past few years is astonishing. Lives go on. The story doesn't end when relationships do (or when they take a pause). The "could have", "would have", "wanted to have happened" scenarios play repeat in my head. It's definitely a challenge to learn how to take those relationship and enjoy them for what they now are, and to let the "what they were" stay behind. We are all grown up dealing with real life problems. We are adults, and to be honest, reality hurts. It's a stinger. Yet I love them the same way. I can tell that the love that I have for them is still the same. I value them more though. I only wish that those years that we were apart were years where we stay connected without the having to reconnect.

Anyways, the point that I'm trying to make is that if I love them this much now, even past the years of no communication and the changes that we all made to our lives, how much more could I love someone else who God allowed me to create? Or love someone who God has called me to spend the rest of my life with? Or even better, how much did Jesus love us that He would actually die for us? The thought of that is overwhelming.

1 Peter 5: 10-11

After you have suffered a little while.

Who ever wants to read those words, let alone read them and feel the truth behind them? If you've been  keeping up with this blog you should have a glimpse of what this year has been like for me. Suffering is an understatement. I have struggled in many areas, but thankfully it is only for a little while. The scripture continues to say, "[He will] restore you and make you strong, firm, steadfast". Before I left Austin to come here to Honduras, one very sweet young lady told me that I was like a palm tree. She said that I may go through storms or hurricanes and be tossed left and right, but in the end I will stand strong because I know who my creator is. I can bend one way or another when under pressure, but I will always bounce back into the position in which I was intended to be in. How awesome is that! Even through the suffering (for a little while I might add), God will restore us and make us strong, firm, and steadfast. "To him be the power forever and ever. Amen."

In the past I've tried to take charge of my life. I've tried to control my circumstances, tried to control my emotions and "make things happen" for my benefit. Now I see how wrong that was and I've grown from it. Thankfully God has not once left my side - I can be reassured of that. And thankfully I know who my creator is (and how powerful He really is!) and can bounce back and lean on that foundation before, during, and after the suffering. It's not an easy thing, and I definitely need to be reminded of that from time to time, but it is something that I know will never change.

A good reminder given to me by a senior student at ALP.  :)

Pulapanzak

Our second three day weekend of the year and we took off. Four ladies total, Jenna, Britany, Leslie and I, all headed on an adventure. We finally decided on transportation the night before and had booked the cabin at least four days before. Whatever happened we were determined to get to the waterfall. Early Saturday morning we packed our bags and rapidittoed (took a mini bus) down the mountain into El Centro where we eventually caught a bus (might I mention a ghetto bus) heading out to La Guama. A few hours later we exited the bus and hopped onto another rapiditto to Pena Blanca and from there took a moto-taxi to our final destination... D&D Brewery. The hostel-type hotel (not really too sure what to call it as we stayed in a mini cabin) was more than what we had been expecting. The owners/managers were extremely welcoming and it was easy to get around in that little town. That evening we explored a little. We found a coffee farm (hiked through it on Monday) and eventually ended up at a river in which the girls rocked hopped for a while. We later ate dinner back at the brewery and played a few rounds of card games before we headed off to bed. Sunday is when all of the excitement took place. We slept in a little bit, then headed out for breakfast. After eating a typical Honduran desayuno (breakfast) we caught the next bus to the waterfall (Pulapanzak waterfall to be exact).
     Once we arrived, we explored the grounds. The waterfall was absolutely breath taking. Eventually three of us decided to venture over to the zip-linning stand. We were strapped in and headed off. It was my first time zip-lining and I had a blast!! The final zip-line was over the waterfall itself. SO AWESOME!! After that adventure we decided to hop on the next waterfall hike in which we would hike behind the falls and into a cave. We had no idea what we were about to get into. Although I couldn't take any pictures while under the waterfall, my memory still has a few flashbacks. As we hiked through mud and wet rocks, climbed over raging waters, walked under the pressure of falling water, and much more we feared for our lives. Our hike consisted of one tour guide and 12 hikers. Sound like a safe trip? Ugh... think again. Even though there were moments when I just wanted to be rescued, the pure beauty was so over powering. I was behind a fierce waterfall!! What's the chance of that happening again? I held on so tight to the rock wall and did my best to enjoy the moment. At one point I had a mind conversation with God. I said, "I know you will get me through this, but man! How beautiful is your creation!".
     Well... after the huge adrenaline rush from both events, we headed home, ate dinner, and were so exhausted that we didn't stay up too late that night. The last morning we took a mini hike through the coffee farm and then headed out. We caught the first rapiditto and stayed on as long as we could. After that... well.... let's just say that we were blessed with a comfortable ride back to Tegus complete with spacious seating, air conditioning and no charge.  :) Here are a few photos from the trip.

 

The Brewery

The Ladies

My Zip-linning Adventure!!!

Just before the behind the waterfall hike. Before we feared for our lives.

At the coffee farm.

Trying a freshly picked coffee bean. 

I wasn't a fan.

Our cabin in the midst of the forrest. So relaxing!

On our way home. 

THE END.

7th Grade Hard at Work

My 7th graders working hard in class. They are such a blessing. Very funny too. :)

      

                                   

t 

 

Focused, focused, focused!! 

Working on gesture drawings of people!

They were deep in the drawing process for two days!!