Tegus -->El Paso --> Austin --> Tegus

The past two weeks have gone by extremely fast. It feels as though I should barely be getting ready to go home for Christmas. Yet, here I am, back to my home #3, getting ready to bring in the New Year. It's been a trip, literally. It was great to be back home for a little over a week. I was able to visit with some old friends and hang out with family. Being home feels so different though. I can tell more of where I've grown and notice areas in which I may still need to work on - but that's never ending, right? I spent a lot of time battling with thoughts from the past. Situations that I was in a year ago, emotions that I was going through, and all the questions that were being asked didn't help keep my mind off of those times. At the same time though, I was encouraged to follow my dreams, and encouraged to do all that I can, while I still can. 

     Family relationships have changed. Everyone is growing up and dealing with their own issues. It doesn't help that I only get parts of stories here and there while I'm away, but I'm left trying to plug in the missing pieces throughout the short time that I am there. I Love them anyway. The week in EP ended with a tragedy as well as a celebration. Andrea's grandmother passed away on Christmas night, but earlier that morning Bianca announced her engagement. To say the least, Christmas 2011 was very emotional. 

     Tuesday came sooner than expected, but probably at the right time. I said my good-byes the night before at Angelica's Birthday dinner and hopped on a plane the following morning Austin-bound. Besides the 2 hours of sleep that night and the exhausted, tired eyes, it was so good to be back in Austin. I was fortunate enough to be able to rent a car to use throughout my time in ATX and had the freedom to roam the city. I missed driving in general, but driving in Austin and visiting all of my favorite places was absolutely refreshing. I spent some time at Mozarts (drinking coffee and sitting by the river), I did a little shopping, spent time with Sarah, and went on a search for some TOMS. I had lunch with some of my greatest friends, and on my last night was shockingly surprised. There was a leadership gathering at the Lloyd's new house (when I went to see Aneiya) in which I was able to hug and see all of the leaders who helped me make the big decision to move and guided me through all of the tough decisions of 2010-2011. That was the best unintentional surprise party ever! I couldn't have asked for a better way to leave Austin. 

     Then came Wednesday and off I was to my home #3 - Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Early morning, crazy flights, weird weather, and an increase in baggage fees lead me to believe that the day was going to be rough. I was exhausted from another night of a 2 hour rest and was sad to be leaving Austin just when I was beginning to enjoy my old friends. Landing in probably the shortest runway ever, and after waiting in immigrations and customs, I was greeted by Richard. As we waited for Leslie to land, we came across two other teachers - Susie and Jenna. It was a sweet little reunion. Once I got home, I felt a sigh of relief. All of  the crazy travel over (for now) and I could finally rest. New Years is right around the corner - it's time to regroup. 

Waiting Patiently

As this year comes to a close, I am reminded of one thing. Where I was this time last year was a completely different me. Throughout the year God has taught me to be content in Him and learn to listen to His voice - even when He whispers. The road has been a difficult one, but through all of the potholes and detours, I can say that my relationship with God has definitely grown.
     I remember the big decisions that I had to make this time last year, and the conversation that I was going home to. I remember the feeling of anticipation for the next step, feeling as though everything was going to be okay. But little did I know, my world was about to be flipped upside down. I was going to enter 2011 with a clean slate and even more decisions to make. But here I am now. I have a job that I really enjoy waking up to and some of the greatest friends that I could ask for.
     The journey is not over though, there are still huge decisions to make and memories from the past seem to be haunting me. I have not been able to sleep very well the past few days, but I know that a breakthrough is on its way. My God is greater than the past. He is greater than my situations - and for that I am thankful.
     It's not going to be easy. In fact, I may be up for some really tough times, but I can always rely on Him for comfort and for protection. Waiting patiently, I feel, is going to be the theme for this next season. Waiting for the things that I most desire, waiting for His perfect timing, waiting, waiting, waiting. Patience. I'm a pretty patient person, but this is going to test my trust as well. Trusting that He knows what is best and when to reveal it. Whatever "it" may be.

So here goes, cheers to the new season.

In The Middle - In Between

Yeah, yeah, so I'm the middle child. So what. That's not what this is really about. It's more so about being in that place in life where you are searching. There's such a world of opportunity out there that the options are literally endless. I'm not burdened by a house payment or car payment, yes, I have student loans to deal with, but my options are still wide open. I can move anywhere I want, and do something... anything.
     What I have learned from before is that when you take the time to listen to that small still voice, then He will direct your path. And where He takes you... man, the amount of joy and peace that comes with it is indescribable. Right now, I am exactly where He has called me to be. Even though I am currently visiting in the States, I know that when I return in a week I will feel like I'm home.
     Culture shock comes with big changes, especially with moving outside of the country. But for one reason or another, my "culture shock" has hit during my return home (my return to El Paso). It's not that I don't like being here, but life here is so much more fast paced and on the go that I feel a little overwhelmed. I never realized how busy we really did keep ourselves - how busy my life must have been before the big change. And now, I miss the pine trees, the runs, the hanging out and just enjoying the presence of others. Now, I know that all of that can be accomplished here as well, but when? In between the rush from store to store, during our one hour lunch break in which we go to grab some fast food, or once we get home only to do more work? There seems to never be enough hours in a day to fit in all that we set for ourselves to accomplish.
     Even though everyone here is still going abut their normal schedules, I'm glad to have the opportunity to be here. To visit with family and friends, and to just be. I'm still learning how to be flexible and "go with the flow", but it's coming along much more easily now than before. Two things that I realized I've been missing... driving and text messages. Weird.

Home for the Holidays

     I made it! Finally... after what seems like a whole day's worth of traveling, I finally made it home. I'm not that great at flying, so i usually don't get that much sleep the night before, and there was nothing different this time. Running on 4 hours of sleep, I woke up at 5 am, packed a little more, typed out my lesson plans for the first week in January, then packed a little more. I was glad to have had a brief breakfast with everyone before I had to head out on the 830am bus to the airport. i was the only one who left on the early bus, so I felt a little left out, but I was hoping to see them at the airport later on anyways.
     What seemed lie hours later, we arrived at the airport and quickly checked in our luggage, paid for the tax fees, and went up to the lobby area for coffee and to relax. We were about 2 and a half hours early. i did a little walking around in the souvenir shops and grabbed a Mocachino to comfort the anxious body. Then, once we got heard of the 2nd bus arriving at the airport (the bus that practically everyone else was on)... I slowly made my way down stairs to see my friends once more before the big departure. and low-and-behold... Diego popped up!! That was such a great surprise and a wonderful way to leave Honduras, even if it was just for  a short trip to the States.
     Emotions were all over the place. Really. It was kinda confusing. I wasn't sure whether to be happy to be going home, sad to be leaving a place that I was beginning to call home, sad to be departing from close friends, or excited to be able to see and catch up with old friends. A weird situation to be in. But yes, the reminder was that it was only for a couple of weeks. We can handle a couple of weeks.
     We eventually say good-byes, and the first group went out past our last security spot and to the gate where we waited once more. I was able to board early since i apparently was given the privilege of fling FIRST CLASS! My seat... 2A!! I plopped down in what felt like a giant lounge chair while the lady brought me a drink. Once in the air, i was able to watch the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love (FOR FREE!), and I was given a form star meal! They served steak with potatoes and veggies, (or shrimp with rice), a biscuit, a side salad... and the best part... CHEESECAKE!  I had it made on the flight back to Texas! It was awesome!
     Eventually I landed in Houston, made it through customs and to the next gate on time to head home to El Paso. A long day, but a great one because I was able to come home to my family and enjoy the crazy things they do and the laughter that comes with it. All I can say is that this week is going to be nuts.

A Love that NEVER Fails

Our God is such a gracious God. Even on days when attitudes flair up from all over, on days when students don't want to cooperate and on days when I don't even feel like teaching ... God is there reminding us that it is okay. He's reminding us that despite our circumstances, He still Loves us.

Yesterday was another rough day. Students are ready for a break - and they aren't afraid to show it, let alone tell us so. Not only did I feel the unwillingness to cooperate from them, I am also beginning to get sick again. Stuffy nose all day and little-to-no coffee intake - not a good combo. We also hosted the Care Group Christmas party in C3 last night (which went well) and had a relaxed evening with friends and desserts. But the best part of yesterday was when the seven of us were together in John's apt just chillin'.

The past two weeks or so have been extremely busy and full of stress (for me anyways). Progress reports just came out, the Christmas Concert was underway, projects were wrapping up, and I felt like I was getting questions from every angle. I was under pressure and was ready to explode. I ran to let the stress go - I ran A LOT, and I prayed. God reminded me not to take control of my life, but to let Him take the lead. He reminded me that everything was going to be okay and that no matter what He still Loved me.

Enséñame A Amar

     It's nuts to think that the act of loving is easy. I wish I could say that it was the easiest thing for me to show and do, but during times like this week, it's been very difficult. I know that God calls us to love one another - to serve each other. But when attitudes change with the weather and someone hurts you, how easy is it then to show love? This week alone has been a challenge in that area. With the winter break slowly approaching it seems as though my older students have developed this attitude change. It's not only with me, but with many of the other teachers as well.  There have even been behavior problems with some of my best students. As much as I allow them to have their time for creativity and socialization, when work is not getting done, then that's when Ms. Discipline has to step in and it's not always pretty. They've seen me serious before, and they've seen my more relaxed side, but do they see God's love shine through me? I hope so. I pray for them as if they are my own children. I want them all to be successful, but do I communicate that to them?
     With everything that has been going on, both at school and in my personal life, I'm starting to feel the pressure. It's like November threw-up on me (some of you will know what I mean by that - sorry it's kinda gross). One by one, things have been creeping up and I'm sure it's a reminder for me to stay focused on God and to let Him do His work through me. I was reminded of a scripture the other day from a friend, it was

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;

He delivered me from all my fears

Psalm 34:4

     What a great reminder that was to know that when we seek God, he will answer us. So during this time when it's difficult to Love, all I have to do is seek the one who IS Love and He will answer me. I pray that as the time goes on, that God will continuously teach me how to Love like He Loves. That God will show me ways in which I can best express His Love in the classroom. I am so thankful for the many ways in which God has displayed His Love for me this year and I don't want to keep it bottled up. 

That's all I have for now, but I'll leave you with a beautiful song I came across the other day ... enjoy. 

How do I describe my students...

It's easy to compare my students to the students I taught during student teaching (Spring 2011 - Austin, TX), but that doesn't do any justice. They rare a unique group of kids. Not only are they the children of some of the wealthiest families here in Tegucigalpa, they come with so much other baggage, experiences and responsibilities. Not to mention the bilingual portion of their education. The culture of this city for one thing does not have the most kid friendly atmosphere. There's an extra caution that comes with being free outdoors. But then again, these students have so much technology to keep them indoors anyways, why would they go outside?
     My students also come with many challenges. Not all of them have the close-kint family life that some of us may have enjoyed. These kids have hard working parents, maids, butlers, drivers, guards, you name it. I'm sure all of that has great influence on their lives. They ask many questions. Many. Over and over again. It can get frustrating, but God definitely has given me the grace needed to work with them day in and day out. Many of them don't know how to problem solve. They need to be walked through it, step-by-step - yes, even after explanations and demonstrations of some of the most basic procedures. There sometimes seems to be no independence.
     Lately I've been asking for prayer requests in some of my classes. I don't read them out loud to the class, but when I do go back and read them my heart breaks for them. They ask for change - in their lives, in their country, in their family. My biggest realization is that they have real needs too. What goes on behind the scenes is brought into the classroom, and their attitude that day is reflective of what happened at home the night before or even that morning. It's amazing. I Love it when I get to have real conversations with some of them. They have opened up to me so much, and it is definitely a blessing to be a part of.
     Some girls in my elective class asked me today if I was spoiled when I was younger. I told them that I did get away with a lot of things when I was younger, but that I was convicted in high school about taking advantage of my mom's giving. I explained to them how I went out to get a job at the age of 15, and how I have been working ever since then. They looked at me in amazement. Apparently it isn't very common (or at least among their economic status) for children to work until they graduate from college.
     Anyways, all this to say, the students here are a very unique group to work with. The challenges we all face in the classroom, although similar to that in the States, come with a twist and it's definitely a trial and error environment. It is my hope that they leave my classroom at the end of the year having experienced as much as they can within the art field while producing work that they can be proud of and keep for future reference. I hope to build deeper relationships with many of them, and to really see them grow and develop a deeper relationship with God.

One of my three 9th grade classes taking a group photo on my birthday.