Key Word: Trust

I'm about 2245.88 miles away from my hometown of El Paso, Texas and so when things get a little shaky over there it's difficult for my mind not to wonder. I will admit, I'm not big on phone calls, and lately I've had trouble just keeping up with emails. I'm more of a "be there in person" kinda girl, and so being 2245.88 miles away makes it quite difficult for me to "be there" completely.
     To say the least, things did get a little shaky one night a few weeks ago. And what did I do? I burst into tears and ran to those who knew my story over here in my third home (aka Honduras)- to those who knew a bit of my past, could relate, and would be prayer warriors for me. I'm so thankful for them. For taking in my blushing face and tear filled eyes and for listening to me.
     And through it all I felt peace. I prayed a lot, and with that came peace. I knew I could trust my God with the situation and the outcome, and I had no doubt that it would be for His glory - one way or another. I didn't question Him. I didn't get angry with Him. I trusted. Writing this all down makes it seem so easy to just trust God. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy. But with practice in trusting in the small things you can learn to trust in the bigger more life-threatening things. So I sit here, at peace with what is going on at home, knowing that I can't jump on a plane for a weekend because of financial reasons, and accepting where I am right now. I find myself having to continue to trust God daily. Trusting Him that this 2245.88 mile separation from my Texas home is for a reason and has a time frame. And learning to lean on Him to tell me when that distance can decrease.

Ring around the Rose

I have this ring. A very important ring for many reasons. Last Wednesday somehow it slipped off.

Now get this, I never take this ring off. NEVER. I shower with it, wash my hands thousands of times throughout the day with it, etc. I never take it off. But somehow between sleep on Tuesday and bed time on Wednesday it came off. It wasn't until I was washing my hair Wednesday night that I noticed the ring was missing. And I panicked. I was on my hands and knees, with tears in my eyes, searching for this ring. I looked in the bathroom, my bedroom, closet, I even took off all of my blankets and sheets and shook them to see if hopefully a ring would fall to the floor. Then I would search the floor again. I remembered hearing something metal fall to the floor during the day but thinking nothing of it. I thought that it must have been a paperclip or something when I couldn't spot anything right away. So I had ignored it. Well, after finally getting myself to climb into bed, I hopped right out and grabbed the keys. I headed to my classroom where I again, searched the floor on hands and knees. And to no avail... no ring. I fell asleep that night exhausted and drained. I woke up feeling very much not myself.
     I went about my day, told Ruth (my classroom maid) about what happened, and looked in another teacher's room as well. Still no ring. So I let it go. Meanwhile everyone who I came across would repeatedly tell me, "Don't worry, you'll find it" or "If it's important to you, then it's important to God. You'll find it. Be positive." My mind couldn't wrap around it. I was very sad about the lost ring. I checked online to see if it could at least be replaced and after thinking that it had been put on the discontinued list and found that it was still available for purchase. After that discovery I felt a little better, but still it was a hard reality that I had lost my ring.
     Later that night (Thursday night), after going to the city for coffee and volleyball (and posting the sad story on Facebook), I got ready for bed. Before sneaking under the covers, I felt the need to pray for a few people, so I did. Then I asked God for rest. And so I turned off the lights, snuck under the sheets and rolled around to get comfy. I felt something. Something had rubbed up against my leg. I reached down, and low and behold... my RING!! It was pitch black in my room and all I could do was burst with excitement following a couple of air kicks and a "Thank you God!!" It truly was a miracle. I had just shook the sheets and blankets the night before and nothing! And now my ring appeared right smack in the center of my bed!

What has stuck with me throughout this experience is what one of the teachers told me, "If it is important to you, it is important to God." How true is that! And what a blessing!! God knows the deepest, secret places in our hearts. He knows what could heal the wounds and how to bring about the peace and comfort that we so desire. He knows things! And yes, he cares about the small things too (even my ring!!)! So why not ask God about them? Not talking about them does not make them invisible, God already knows and already has a plan in store. And how cool is it to see God's plan reveal itself? He knew how much that ring meant to me, he knew I wanted it back. And I believe that He helped bring it home.

A Relief Beyond Words

You can conquer anything with God. And it's such an awesome reality that many of us may overlook in many situations. I know that I have been through instances in which I tried to take control and "work things out" according to what I wanted the outcome to look like, funny thing is ...that NEVER works out. When I take things into my own hands all I do is find myself falling to my knees, crying out for help. But I've learned a lesson over the past two years. Don't take control. Don't even attempt it. Because for me, all that ends up being is a waste of time, energy, and emotions - all of which could be better spent in prayer and worship. Something I've been working on over the past two years deals with forgiveness and accepting the now with a specific person. It's been such a long battle, but a real one. And up until this moment, I've been restless. But thankfully, due to recent events that have unfolded over the past couple of months, I've been able to let go. I've been given a peace about this relationship and I am without a doubt that God has been working through my search for cleansing.
     I have been wounded, and renewed. I've shed tears and can smile through them because I serve a God of peace and comfort... and as far as my future goes... who cares? I know where I stand right now and there is relief. I can breathe deep breaths of forgiveness. And although I may hurt from time to time for the other person, I am putting them in the palm of God's hands and I can rest assured that they will be taken care of. And I can be okay with that.
     My heart is full. And I only wish that those who are hurting could all find this place of fullness and relief. We aren't called to hide in those dark places/situations. We are called to light, to be the light. And when we can give God the opportunity to move and strengthen us, when we can get to the point of not wanting the control and allowing Him to have the control, then amazing things can happen all around us. Our situations will begin to change. Our hearts will begin to be molded to be just like His... and what better place would it be, than to rest with relief, knowing that God has it all under control.

My heartfelt thoughts for today.

Houston Airport

I remember my first time in the Houston airport. I was on my way to a new life outside if Texas. I was moving to Honduras, by myself. There was a huge range of emotions that happened then. I couldn't believe that I was moving TO ANOTHER COUNTRY! Even now, as I sit here at the airport, passport checked, I still can't believe the reality of me living in another country, and even more... This being my second year living in Honduras!!
     I sure have come a long way and I'm thankful for the breaks of being able to visit with family during the holidays.  I'm thankful for the opportunities to return to Honduras and for the people that I've come to love while living in this home away from home.

Here I go- we're boarding!! Honduras here I come!

"Go On"

Have you come to the Red Sea place in your life,

Where, in spite of all you can do,

There is no way out, there is no way back,

There is no other way but through?

Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene

Till the night of your fear is gone;

He will send the wind,

He will heap the floods,

When He says to your soul, "Go on."

And His hand will lead you through—clear through--

Ere the watery walls roll down,

No foe can reach you, no wave can touch,

No mightiest sea can drown;

The tossing billows may rear their crests,

Their foam at your feet may break,

But over their bed you shall walk dry shod

In the path that your Lord will make.

In the morning watch, 'beneath the lifted cloud,

You shall see but the Lord alone,

When He leads you on from the place of the sea

To a land that you have not known;

And your fears shall pass as your foes have passed,

You shall be no more afraid;

You shall sing His praise in a better place,

A place that His hand has made.

--Annie Johnson Flint

I had to share this. 

From: http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/

Jan. 1, 2013